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Gig to Gig

Why hasn't there been more postings here recently? Well, the last gig finished - after a 50% extension of the original contract, so I'm back here at The Other Office, waiting for The Other Thing to get sorted. So in the mean time, there's not a lot say, unless you want to know what I've been reading, writing, watching, thinking ...

Hmm.

(You'd have to know a few other meanings for 'gig' to understand the title. As a hint, it's not a reference to horse-drawn carriages, concerts, or the nap on cloth.)

School Library Humor 101Revision

Tomorrow is Day 2 of the new gig, albeit just a short-term one. On Friday (Day 1) I re-learned a valuable lesson that I had, admittedly, forgotten. Do not, under any circumstances, joke with classroom teachers about any overdue books they may (or may not) have from the preceding scholastic year. Teachers do not consider this an appropriate topic for frivolity. I had forgotten that.

But otherwise things are going pretty well. I'm rostered onto Staff Morning Tea with some faculty colleagues on Wednesday; I'm reliably informed that biscuits (cookies for our American Cousins) will be welcomed. A few things for my To Do list for tomorrow include speaking with the new Year 7's on their very first assembly at High School (I'd mention that I'd been trying to do that for four years at my previous gig, but then what's the point of reliving the past?); also the printing of booking sheets for teachers with classes, together with other forms for unsupervised seniors using the library during lesson time.

Generating 'the calendar' for the library software system so that borrowing can commence with meaningful master date dues; setting up the paperwork for (student) overdue notices; clearing mail backlog accumulated during the holiday period; many other Bits and Pieces; and maybe the most challenging task of the day - get familiar, like really quickly, with the collection so that the newest enrolments can come to the library and receive something that at least approximates useful Reader Guidance.

You've gotta get 'em young (or in this case, new) to hook them for regular recreational readers. Geez, I didn't even get a chance to boot up the OPACs on Friday, let alone browse the shelves.

And then just to put the cherry on top of the day, there's a staff meeting - or possibly two, I'm not sure on that one - at the end of the day. Hmmm ... that might be an even bigger challenge, given that during the holidays I fell into that wonderful - although ultimately counterproductive - habit of a Nanny Nap after lunch.

I will admit that at another gig, many years back, I fell asleep during an after-school meeting, but (apparently) also snored. Must have been someone else, surely?

Some Reader Instruction needed here ...

see more epicfails

Spam of the Week: The Economy

*Dear Prime Minister Gillard, *

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the Australian economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 5 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $2 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Five million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car. Five million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ... And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

Also:*Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment,wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling,pool and education. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay $400.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS:* Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Goondiwindialmost three years ago, right to the paddock where she slept in the feedlot at Bony Mountain? And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow. *

Also:* Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Australia to speak up!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On behalf of my fellow Curmudgeons, I thank the original author - whose identity is now losts in the mists of the ethernet - for so clearly articulating these thoughts.

A terribly sad day

We went to Bowral for a family picnic today, and I had been intending to write on the plethora of bookshops in the Southern Highlands township.

But on the way there, we were witnesses to a triple road fatality. The truck travelling beside us on the dual lanes - literally a metre from us - left the road as we watched, crossed the bushy median strip, and drove into incoming traffic.

If you are of a religious bent, please say a pray for the three people who died. If you are not of such beliefs, I hope you can spare some time to reflect on the fact that no matter how awful your day was, your family and friends will get to see you another day.

Barcode People: How clever is this?

So many clever people in the world, it makes you wonder why libraries are continually having to justify their continuing existance to the bean counters and nay-sayers of the world.

Just sayin', ya know?

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside ...

... for a few days of creative retreat. Kiama on Australia's south coast - a mere 2 hours easy drive from Sydney, with pit stops and photo opportunities - had near-perfect weather. Although there was not a huge volume of creative product out-putted, I always figure quality is as important as quantity, at least in situations such as this. But who could resist sitting on a sunny veranda with a pot of tea and the daily crossword?

But my evening reading material of choice for this time it was a re-release of Alistair MacLean's Ice Station Zebra (under 10 bucks in my now-favoured book emporium). I'd always found his characters were a bit too 'blokey' for my palette, but I'd forgotten how extraordinarily long his sentences are/were. Almost whole pages, in some cases.

Now I'm thinking that I want to revisit a whole lot of other authors of that period (Ice Station Zebra originally being published in 1963) to see if this is yet another trend that has been creeping up on us largely unnoticed.

Sure, huge numbers of our younger folk do not appear to be capable of concentrating beyond the span of a txt msg, but I'd thought of we older gentle folk as having a greater textual stamina. Maybe I'm wrong? Like, that'd be a first. Not.

(May I be permitted to admit that I do like my constructed phrase, 'textual stamina'? As far as I know, I just coined it. But I am told that sometimes we hear or read such phrases and then later recall them and imagine that they are our own creation. Anyone hear or read this phrase before? Or am I destined to yet again embarrass myself? Feel free to drop me a line on this.)

Plan A: The Harry Potter Exhibition

So the plan for this weekend was to borrow (ie hire - the difference being that 'hire' was for a charge from a commercial organisation, whilst 'borrow' would have been for free if our local public library had not already lent them out) all the Harry Potter movies that are legally available.

Then, we'd have a home Movie Marathon before we shelled out huge bucks to go see the Harry Potter Exhibition now currently on in Sydney at one of our fine tax-payer funded public buildings.

The DVD player died before the first disk was even inserted. Naturally, it was 6 weeks - nearly to the day - out of warranty. Never fear! Money grows on trees; we bought a new one. Sound quality is dodgy to say the least, so now it's jerry-rigged through the stereo system's speakers. Which means juggling three different remotes. Still cheaper than buying a hi-fi (remember that term?) home theatre system ...

Just finished reading ..."Seriously, I'm kidding"

This is the third Ellen DeGeneres book; I haven't read the first two yet. I was a big fan of her TV sitcom - and not just because of the setting - and was disappointed that it was cancelled. But that was back in the days when I still watched TV.

I did enjoy this book very much. The humor was gentle and witty. But in comparison with some of my other favorite humor authors (eg PJ O'Rourke and the late Erma Bombeck) , it was a light read in more than one sense.

What was particularly interesting was the physical interaction with this book. I'd bought it as a present for one of my daughters (at her request), and borrowed it from her after she'd finished it. Interestingly, it was handed over with a set of verbal instructions that included not to open the pages too wide, as that wrinkled the cover down along the spine. Which in fact is true; I experimented with a new book in a store that shall remain nameless. I'd never considered this aspect of borrowing from a professional librarian perspective.

Which is in itself interesting; the former Warrior Librarian proofreader pointed out a few recent 'typos' and asked what kind of librarian did I think I was? So I shared with her my current worksite manager's perspective. I am apparently not a librarian at all, I am a teacher. Which is why I must close the library at recesses and go supervise the girls' toilets. Geez, and there I was putting all that effort into getting my library qualifications and everything ...

Have I digressed? Or am I marching firmly down the middle of the concourse?

Foolish Beliefs

Is "Warhorse" an 80 year belated film tie-in?

The movie Warhorse may not be for everyone. For some, there will be not enough blood and guts on the battle field; for others, there may be too many tear-jerking moments. For me, this was a hugely spooky experience; the plot had so many parallels with one of my most precious of my childhood reads, My Horse Warrior.

As an aside, I remember the flaming I got for belittling the prose style of some of the writings of the Horse Story genre in modern Children's Literature. I was told (amongst many other things) I didn't understand the bond between adolescent girls and horses. Pfft! This is the person who nearly dropped out of university because I completed a Diploma of Riding Instruction before I finished my science degree. I wanted to be a riding instructor more than a geologist. Long story. I ended up doing a few years of both, together with some other stuff that isn't related in any way to Librarianship.

Anyways, I still have my first edition My Friend Flicker. And also my beloved book My Horse Warrior; written by Lord Mottistone (General Jack Seely) and published in London in 1938 by Hodder & Stoughton Ltd. Illustrations by Mr A.J. Munnings, R.A. Sadly, I don't have the first edition (yet), but a 1938 reprint.

Those of you who have seen the movie will note the similarities to the scanned images above. Even the countryside in the sketch above is almost identical to the locales used in the movie. The sample page from the forward pretty well sets the scene for much of the book.

My copy is a little water stained on the spine, which shouldn't worry anyone but me because it isn't for sale. Enjoy the movie if you haven't already seen it. I'm going back for a second look - but more particularly at the credits.

The Craft Room Makeover ...

... is 95% finished. Just some fine tuning to go, like finding somewhere to put the clock - without which, time starts to lose meaning in this room. But in a good way. Total cost of shelving approx AUD$300.

The Craft Room

Yep, you have to click on the image to be able to read the whole thing. I'm not saying that everyone is going to find it worthwhile, but indulge me. I'm experimenting here. Enjoy!

Just finished reading ... "206 Bones"

I do like a good mystery, with a touch of the macabre thrown in for good measure. Which I guess is why I enjoy Patricia Cornwell and Kathy Reichs so much.

I found 206 Bones a good read, particularly with the little twist in the end. The plot was not predictable, the characters underwent a credible development, the action was well-described. At times the use of language was a little heavy, but still eminently readable.

The downside was Ms Reichs' stereotypical portrayal of The Librarian, including the actual appellation of 'the dragon'. I guess I can live with this small flaw if I concentrate on the fact that this was the viewpoint of the character, not the author. At least I hope so. I'd have to check with the author to get an accurate assessment; it's always best to go to the source for confirmation. Isn't it?

I think that Cornwell may be a marginally better writer, with Reichs' a marginally better 'storyteller'; if that makes any difference to anyone.

This was one of my pre-Christmas purchases; with the closure of two major book stores at my local mall, I'm happy to say the book-nook (not its real name) is a pretty good substitute. Not a big range, but a more consistently interesting bargain table. What you throw up on the swings lands on the round-about? Or words to that effect ...

Competition Notification: Random House

Whatever else I may be, I am consistent. I didn't win the recent mega-lottery ($35 million), nor any other major prize. Or minor one for that matter; although I did once win ten bucks in a game of chance. As far as I know that wasn't declarable on my income tax, but I guess I should have notified the Tax Office anyway, just in case.

Anyways, for those who like a dabble, Random House is offering chances in a prize. I can't give you the URL, coz The Usual Parties may well consider that I might be benefiting in some way - which past experience confirms that even one cretin with such a belief is sufficient to generate a complaint; two cretins sharing such an erroneous belief got me into huge pooh. Or poop, if you prefer.

And no, offering proof makes no difference to the determination; a review is apparently not an option. Nor does making an official complaint about the determination, the lack of investigation, and the clear denial of Natural Justice or even just a fair and unbiased investigation make one scrap of difference ...

I may have digressed there for a minute. Good luck with Random House's offering.

Season's Greetings, and Bah Humbug from the Cat

Although the family Christmas feast is still 24 hours away, Christmas eve dinner is already in the planning stages, although the actual 'menu' is still being decided.

In the mean time, the table is in the process of being 'dressed - and the cat is more than ready to start eating anytime some food might appear.

Northern hemisphere friends are likely to notice the air conditioner - instead of a fireplace or central heating-type climate control.

Expected temperature is around 28 to 30 degrees C. Humidity will be high enough to render a BBQ a little uncomfortable - at least here in Sydney.

Tomorrow is Christmas for us and ours. Whatever you do with your day, whatever your beliefs, may the day be peaceful, happy and safe.

Munching in the Twilight Zone

In the spirit of what is clearly the absolute worst of blogdom, thought there may be someone who'd like to know that a colleague and I have just returned from visiting our closest vending machine.

Although this was not quite haute cuisine, Family Christmas is but a few days away, where I'm sure I'll consume calories at levels that are neither healthy or safe. And more than likely enjoy every last nibble of the same, food wise.

I'm still searching for high-carb reading material with little or no redeeming literary merit. Yummy!

Yes. I am back.

A lovely two-week Long Service Leave has now finished, and I am back at my desk after a 14 day cruise to New Zealand. Pretty good, apart from 2 days of sea-sickness when the swell was over 4 metres (and remember that's an *average* height).

(I did embark as a passenger, but got rolled off as cargo at the end. Who'd have thought that eating almost constantly for two weeks would cause a weight gain?)

But what's almost even better, I'm back for only two days, then it's another five weeks of annual leave. Nice, huh? I think the world will manage to continue on without me at The Desk.

Of course, I will still be at a keyboard, although at a secret location known only to the Australian Taxation Office, the Electoral Commission, the Roads and Traffic Authority, local and state governments, my employer, Australia Post, and a few hundred other government and non-government organisations ...

Yes, we have no bananas?

I don't know what the library funding situation is in real-world Banana Republics, but it sure is thin on the ground over here in this part of the world. Particularly school libraries.

Our wonderful public libraries seem to be provisioned by very proficient bean-counters, or possibly very dedicated and scary Friends of the Library folk.

Media coverage of what appears to be completely unrelated events does help shine a feeble light on the matter though.

On November 29, the front page of the Sydney Morning Herald announces Federal budget cuts, complete with a table of figures to lend it that patina of gravitas. Then on December 1, we learn from Page 1 of the Sydney Telegraph that our politicians have been given a huge pay rise - by an independent tribunal, of course. So the Australian prime minister will earn more than the American president.

Of course, the purists will say that these are federal matters, and school funding is a state one. To which the answer is of course 'pffft', particularly given the official Government Response to School Libraries and Teacher Librarians in the 21st Century Enquiry.

Yep, things are grim. Nope, you ain't gettin' any money to fix it.