Workplace Culture: "Fitting In"

Quotation:

"Having found myself intellectually incapable of thinking like a moron, in order to integrate with the culture of the workplace power brokers, today I attempted to at least dress like a moron - in the spirit of achieving parity and recognition, and with the hope of being more highly valued. It didn't work."

National Enquiry into School Libraries in Australia

A few days have come and gone since the expert witnesses made their appearance for the New South Wales public hearing. A reasonable range of 'interests' appear, but notable by its absence is the lack of secondary school representation.

Whilst many of the primary (K-6) principals worked with their teacher librarian in making joint submission, at a School of My Acquaintance the principal was told by the line manager that there was not even enough time to give the principals more information.

Go figure.

Hopefully the non-government sectors may have discussed the issues that are unique to the secondary environment, or the regional associations. The transcript of the public hearing in Sydney should make it into Hansard in the next few days.

Predictive Librarianship?

Mere days after announcing the decision to trash the Warrior Librarian Central collection of floppy disks full of old useless cr@p, media services are announcing that Sony now intends to cease production of floppy disks.

Not that we are suggesting there's any correlation or causative relationship here, but it sort of does seem kind of spooky, doesn't it?

LibCat Jigsaw Puzzle

Click on image below to access puzzle; use the back arrow in the browser to return here. Puzzle opens at Jigzone in this same window.
LibCat in Open Stack

Obsolete Format Archiving?

The Great Home Office Cleanup continues, with steady progress. I figure that if I put away one piece of paper a day (let's keep the goals realistic!) it will only take me about another 27 years to finish. Why don't I just trash the whole lot? Sit down - if you aren't already - I put the equivalent of about 3 filing cabinets worth through the shredder last week. We're talking a 30 year professional accumulation here, folks. Not just your average amateur OCD collection.

A pallet load of 'archival' material is being packed up for the National Library. If you know the books "Forgotten Children" (David Hill) and "Enemies of the State" (Tim Priest), you'll be able to work out pretty much what's going into secure holding.

But I have digressed, yet again. The current 'policy issue' is what to do with the old floppy disks. None of the computers here at Warrior Librarian Central even have a floppy drive. The NSW State Archives maintains a collection of obsolete hardware for accessing data from obsolete storage devices; maybe the National Archives could be getting a surprise bonus!

ANZAC Day

More than "Just Annoying"?

Today brought a new horror turn to the already bumpy ride ... being informed yet again that the the school executive have once more made an "executive decision" and come up with the 'policy' that all senior students will be able to access the library at all times during the day. Which is fine with me, but what about if I'm not there? At lunch? At a meeting elsewhere in the school? Down in the English faculty doing my "teachers' aide" scheduled periods?

The answer? "The expectation is that the students will be in the library whether there's a teacher there or not. We don't want them hanging around the playground".

No, there will not be any other teacher cover provided for supervision. No, there is no library assistant present except for a few periods a week ... and the clerical staff are not allowed to supervise students anyway. No, there is no security system at all - no tattle tape gate, no CCTV, Nada. Zip. Zilch.

The suggestion has been made many times over the last few years that an empty classroom (just desks and chairs) be made available for seniors without teachers or scheduled for a study period. This has always been rejected on the basis that the students - even senior ones - need to be supervised.

But apparently its now OK for them to be bundled into an unsupervised library ... coz the executive also decided that they would no longer call it a library; it's now a "learning centre". My query that isn't the whole school a "learning centre" was ignored. As were requests for a 'review' of the decision. At least to date.

Anyone want to throw open their library during any absences for unspecified numbers of teenagers to 'hang around' in?

Sigh.

Same old, same old ...

My FB friend Lilly Meyers wrote: "We have children going to bed without eating..... Elderly going without needed medicines..... Mentally ill without treatment..... Troops without proper equipment..... Yet we donate millions to other countries before helping our own first...... 99% of people won't have the guts to copy and repost this.!!!!!! WILL YOU?????"

Yep, I did.

Welcome to my nightmare?

So, here it is almost exactly half-way through the term break holidays. And what have I actually achieved? Well, in terms of time spent moving stuff, quite a bit. You can see that the Green Room - which we originally called the Homework Room in the hope that the name might drop a bit of a hint to the Household Teenagers - has had an enormous amount of 'rubbish' removed, the desking consolidated, and about 5 years worth of candy wrappers swept up.

The childhood experts will tell you that it's "beneficial" to give teenagers responsibility, but I don't' think they'd considered the hygiene perspective. Anyways, The Supervisor seems happy with the progress, although does point out that this part of the garden needs a little work.


Someone really wise (or possibly very good at hiding their source) once said "in order for something to become clean, something else has to become dirty". Which goes part way to explaining why the dining room now resembles something along the lines of a yard sale - but with less order and aesthetics.

There's absolutely no point in telling me that if I didn't try to keep every bit of junk under the pretense of 'archiving realia', I wouldn't be having this problem now. But the good news is that the Home Weeding Project has now build up a staggering tower of boxed culls. Conservative replacement value? Several million dollars. Yard sale value? Maybe ten bucks. Contribution to learning to read in third world school libraries? Priceless.

OK, so what about the Home Office Makeover of the Century? Otherwise known as Yeah, Right ... it's getting less chaotic. Really. A few boxes-full (box-fulls?) of paper have been filed. Unfortunately though, a whole lot more new paper-based documentation has been arriving together with substantial relocation of stuff from the Green Room.

So I guess it would make sense to stop blogging here at this point, and go put some more stuff away - or throw it out. But I've just got to log into Facebook first; I've got stuff cooking in Cafe World, some OCD has probably beaten the cr@p out of me again in Mafia Wars, I'm pretty sure my crop of tomatoes is ready for harvesting over at my Karma Farm ...

Home Library Weeding

There's few things more spontaneous at Warrior Librarian Central than the sound of the scarpering footsteps of rapidly disappearing family members whenever I say "Hey! Let's move the ....". This of course is my own fault, having devoted years of Pavlovian-type training to conditioning these folk to associate the word "move" with many days of carting books between rooms.

This holiday period, the decision has been made that at least some of them have to go. Books, that is, not family members. And of course, the placement of storage/display furniture has to be rationalised. Luckily, with the Day Job Library (DJL) budget being just AUD$1,000 for the year (that's books, stationery, freight, hardware, software, everything), many of the near-pristine tomes will be donated to the DJL. Others will head off to third world country's school libraries, with the DJL weeds. Others will get some exposure via the Library Office.

Luckily for me, there's one family member who didn't abandon me. OK, their contribution was mainly supervisory, apart from the duality of their role - as a furry bookend.

April Fools?

I should be ashamed of myself for the lack of attention I pay to my 'personal' email. The only defense I can offer is that writing and responding to professional email leaves me completely emailed-out. And I'm pretty busy playing games and stuff. But I did get around to checking my optusnet email this afternoon, and found this one written on April 1:

Congratulations. Your blog has been nominated for our Library Blog Awards. In fact, your blog was suggested more than once. We're in the process of assembling information about all those nominated and will be sending a short questionnaire, including the categories of awards and the judges involved. Would you please send me your email address so that I can send you the questionnaire? If your email
is on your blog, I couldn't locate it.

Thanks in advance,
Peter W Tobey
ptobey@salempress.com

Response?
Nice one .... April 1st, is it? LOL. But just in case this isn't "April Fool's", I'm wondering why you would send me an email - which asks me for my email address?

Your in (Library) humor,
Amanda Credaro

I guess I'm going to look pretty silly if it's a genuine award thingy. Luckily, I'm pretty used to it (looking silly) ....

Oops?

The Internet never ceases to surprise me. Who could really predict what particularly data, information and websites will be discovered by various search tools.

For instance, it was a complete surprise that searching specifically for virtual chemical laboratories and simulations at molecular level of particular reactions would turn up a blog featuring glorious home libraries ...

Cote de Texas: Living with Books

The Barcode Jigsaw Puzzle

Here's an old-fashioned game in a digital medium, a barcode jigsaw puzzle from JigZone. When you click on the image below, a new page will open in this window. Don't forget to come back here when you're done. Just use the 'back' button on your browser. Enjoy!

Parasites and other realia ....

It's basically an advertisement, but Japan's Weirdest Hotels sure has a lot of very useful information. Who knew that there was a museum of parasites "...many of them spilling out of organs and dead animals ...", let alone a catalogued collections on display of socks, another of laundry.

You can even buy a t-shirt with "raised tape worms that you can feel!", but not over the 'net. All purchases strictly in real time, real place.

Which of course opens up the floodgates for other off-beat museums. There's sure to be a stampede of the naive (I believe P.T. Barnum referred to them as "suckers") wanting to visit - and purchase from the gift shop - of a potential museum of Cell Ring Tones that Caused Madness, a Repository of Retrograde Reading Resources, the Parade of Paradoxical Policies, an Exhibition of Exotic Ephemera, perhaps a Panoply of Polynesian Paperbacks, or a Roving Rendition of Retributive Rants? More?

So how's this new gig going?

Pretty good, and thanks so much for asking! There's a lot less books, a lot more computers; less reading and much more writing. There's more break time, with less interruptions; but little opportunity to purchase low protein, high carbohydrate sustenance.

Thank goodness for the one solitary vending machine, even if my application to have it moved to next to my desk has not yet been answered. Nor, apparently is it likely to ... since I apparently left it on the printer for so long, someone thought it was a joke and threw it away.

So far, I've finished a suite of classroom resources on "stellar evolution" for Stage 5 to use with their Federally funded notebooks. Got an"energy transmission" collection up to penultimate draft, and have now made inroads in Chemistry. Also finished two sets of "Teacher Tips", but with only three weeks to go at this gig before returning to LibrarybLand, its not the ideal time to be starting any new topics.

Luckily I've had a very experienced and capable substitute stand in for me in the bLibrary. Which is just as well, as there could be some Interesting Times (in that Chinese curse context) about to develop. Ah well ...

Words of Wisdom, from Fiction

After having done (possibly) the wrong thing, but for the right reason ...

"Like a hunter, you feel an adrenaline surge of pleasure at having usurped the province of God. The person who says otherwise is lying. But the emotional attitude you form later varies greatly among individuals. Some will keep their remorse alive and feed it as they would a living gargoyle, to assure themselves of their own humanity; others will justify it in the name of a hundred causes; and they'll reach back in moments of their own inadequacy and failure and touch again those flaming shapes that somehow made their impoverished lives historically significant."

Heaven's Prisoners (Burke, James Lee). Random House. ISBN 0-09-941562-3

A Podiatric Epiphany

Now that I am temporarily a public transport commuter again, and have time to indulge in Shoe Envy, it's come to my attention that female library folk are once again going "against the flow"; no wonder the Fashion Police are holding a very long rap sheet on us.

Seen on every carriage, at every station, at every stop are stylishly dressed women wearing joggers, sneakers and various sports shoes - on their way to work. No doubt they are concealing about their person alternative footwear of a less comfortable kind to change into At The Office.

Now I know that this is not an issue that overly concerns the vast majority of my male library colleagues, but it did occur to me that many of my gender dress "stylishly" (within the limits of our measly pay packets) during the travel into our libraries ... wherein we slip on something devastatingly dowdy but hugely welcome. Are we the only profession that does this? And does anyone actually care, anyway ...

Internet Footprints?

You've seen/read/heard that well-distributed piece about footsteps in the sand, right? And you know that saying about lines drawn in the sand? Well, this has pretty much nothing to do with either of those. It's morning tea time, and I'm just about coffee'd out.

So I thought I'd sign up for a few things, as one does at times like this. First cab of the rank was a new "fan" page over at ning.com. This will allow you to sign up to become a member of a very small, select - may I say even possibly elite - group, the Fans of Amanda Credaro. I don't know how long membership will be open for, but it IS free, which is really the most important thing, isn't it?

I signed up for something else too, but now that my loyal reader has rushed off to check out the possibilities at ning, I guess I'll save the other one for another day.

Letting go?

Just read today's horoscope over at Facebook: "You're maybe just a wee bit too attached to some idea or gadget -- or person. Now is the perfect time to pull back to a healthy level of attachment, even if it feels like abandonment at first."

And you know, that's sort of good news for me. I had been Formulating Strategies for doing some pretty hefty cleaning up, house-wise. I thought I was going to have to throw out a goodly number of my Martin Luther King clothes ("I have a dream..."), but now I find out it's only ideas, people and gadgets that have to go. Not any of my insanely high stilettos, nor my ridiculously short minis (both from another era, several eons ago).

People-wise, I'm pretty confident that those I have I either want to keep, or are filed under 'evil but necessary".

Ideas-wise, I think I'm "good" - if I ignore the fact that I'm obstinate, self-opinionated, and often wrong. Which only leaves gadgets that have to go. I think I've got a broken stapler somewhere ...

Slithy toves in portmanteaux

Huge thanks to Business Balls for their clear and concise explanation of this particular fascinating aspect of our bizarre language!

Anyone with 5 minutes to spare, and good eyesight (or a magnifying facility in their browser) could do worse than checking this out.

Like, it's sort of related to work 'n' all, isn't it? At least, you could very likely make a good case to support your contention that you aren't really goofing off or wasting company time and resources. Good luck with that, and let me know how you get on ...

Where's Wally, and why?

Latitude: 33.799210 S
Longitude: 151.110828 E

... physically about half way between the Information Unit and the Library Unit, but abutting (which is apparently better than head-butting) the Premier's Reading Challenge unit.

Philosophically? Many people would like to say that I'm on my own planet as usual. I prefer to think of it as a parallel universe, only with better coffee.

Physiologically, pretty much OK.

Pedagogically? Working on DER (Digital Education Revolution) science resources, of course!

Fresh approach to increasing library access?

Here's something new ... instruct your school librarian take on the role of a teacher's aide and provide 'support' outside the library, so the library has to close numerous times. Yep, that's sure going to bump up library use, promote reading for pleasure, assist in developing Information Literacy, develop meaningful and measurable improvements in outcomes. Not.

Mind you, today's contribution to this particular aspect of the education revolution was pretty much restricted to being asked by "a real teacher" to get her a chair so she could rest her sore foot on it. Gee, but its great to have gotten two master's degrees to provide such a critical input into the program.

Sigh.

Moody Blues and other human follies?

While indulging in much-needed Retail Therapy, couldn't help but notice the number of retailers of "Mood Rings". Which lead me to reflect on the simultaneous inventiveness and stupidity of my species. Why the heck would anyone need an accessory to tell others how they are feeling?

Wouldn't howls of outrage, sighs of resignation, sobs of indignation, The Silence and similar 'cues' give more than just a vague hint of current Affective Domain status? Or maybe that's just me. It would seem that Professional Poker Player would not be a viable career alternative to Librarianship ...

Holiday Reading

Like to guess what I did with my five weeks annual leave? Didn't quite make it through the whole stack (no pun intented), but made a sizable dent ...

The Sarcasm Punctuation Mark (SarcMark)

At long last! A "sarcasm punctuation mark" to put an end to email misinterpretation, and possibly end flame wars (or more likely, start them). It costs $1.99 to download, which puts it outside many library budgets ....

See this article from Telegraph.uk.co

On a wing and a prayer?

I have been very, very slack with keeping the blog up to date; but trust me when I tell you that is hasn't been for lack of adventures in LibraryLand, particularly in the realms of Administrivia, Beaurocracy, and EgoManiacal Whatsits.

However, tonight's big news is that I just found out that a very kind (virtual) friend of the non-library variety had posted a prayer for me over at The People's Steeple (which will require you to log into Facebook to access). Was it a prayer for keeping what's left of my mind - I hope all those who have been given a piece of it are better human beings for that - in tact? Was it a prayer for a larger functional budget? An epiphany for those that control matters bibliotechnical?

The prayer for a speedy recovery from the March gum surgery was answered. Let no one doubt the power of the Internet.

End of an era?

Just a quick note to let all 11 of the Warrior Librarian fans know that Yahoo!Geocities has informed all and sundry that as of 28 October 2009 all sites hosted there (including the Original Warrior Librarian) will cease to exist.

The good news is that almost all of it is cached at the Wayback Machine, and a new and brighter Warrior Librarian Weekly will soon be available once some Other Matters have been finalised. More information is here ...

Google Digitization Project

For those of you with an interest in copyright matters, and published works, the deadline has now passed for opting out of the Google Digitization. But you do have until 5 January 2010 to claim the Cash Payment on offer from Google, and by extension obtain the percentage of the profit Google will be making from your work.

Careful with filling out the online form, though. Or you may find yourself in ongoing correspondence with the process administrators, such as:

Dear [name removed for obvious reasons],

I'm not sure if you noticed that my email address ends in the country code "au" ... I am resident in Australia. Unfortunately your toll-free number is not available through overseas directories, so it is of little help for you to continue to refer me to that number.

I do thank you though for your explaination that you require that "rights holders who wish to have changes made to their book listings send said corrections in the form of a signed request". We do indeed live in Strange Times! Is it not absurd that the "signed request" that you require - presumably for security purposes - is so much more easily "forged" than a digitally traceable email?

However, if you check the Google Settlement Entry for the rights holder details for the book that I wrote you will see that I have actually been able to correct the error (that I have been asking for your assistance in correcting for some months) myself, through my secure password-encoded log in.

Sigh.

I am certain that you will understand that the above does not inspire confidence, in regard to appropriate administration of the processes with which your company has been engaged in the matter of Google's digitization of copyright protected publications.


Regards,
Amanda Credaro


Too narky? Perhaps. But it is now on its way through the ether, regardless.

Street Smarts or Dumb and Dumber

For a while now, I've been noticing that people seem to be getting stupider. I almost had myself convinced that the problem was really just me, that I myself was getting crabbier and less tolerant. Until yesterday.

Racked items in KMart's Children's Clothing section had tags attached at the neckline "Warning: Clothing must be removed from hanger before wearing". No one would possibly make this up. Not even me. Q.E.D.

The History of American library humor ...

Jeanette Smith of the New Mexico State University Library wrote:

I have been researching and writing a book on the history of American library humor, and now that my 451 page manuscript is complete, I am contacting people that I mention and make short quotes from in the book. You are, of course, an important library humorist worldwide and in America. Below, I have attached material from your work in the book, with full citations. May I use this material in my book? ...

I really do love it when folk ask permission first! I wonder if I'll be getting a complimentary copy of the published work? Most probably not; the only folk to have done so thus far were ALA, who honored me with a copy of The Whole Library Handbook 4 in thanks for my humble contribution (p 368).

You'll have to get hold of your own copy of Jeanette Smith's book to find out which quotes she is going to use. And no, I'm not getting a commission on sales. As usual.

The Lost Widget ...

There's a terrific little widget to publicise Dan Brown's latest offering, which would have been appearing here to impress all 10 of my blog fans. Sadly though, Blogger tells me that I am not allowed to use the html necessary for the widget to be displayed.

Geez, but doesn't it make your toenails curl backwards when the simplest of technology falls down when the administration of it become the barrier. There's nothing malicious in the code (no pun intended, Mr Brown), a bit of Shockwave, a touch of embedding for display purposes, and so forth.

But my 10 loyal fans can still see the widget and "grab it" with immunity from http://www.thelostsymbol.com/ where it is generously on offer to all.

Postscript: No birds this week, so far. But it is only Tuesday.

A bird of another feather

Yep, another bird flying around the library again on Friday. Not the cute little 'blue jay' of previous fame, but the ubiquitous Indian Minor, an import by a previous generation and charged with contributing to the extinction of native species.

The Indian Minor doesn't get good press, nor any legal representation, but all that aside this particular feathered fiend flew (another 'f' word) through the library, and did in fact poop a number of times. Once - that I found - on our newly shampoo-ed carpet, and another on the back of the shelf at the end of our Reference collection.

We've got 'rules' about how high we can climb on ladders and such, so I'm still not quite sure as to who will get up the tops of the shelves and clean them, nor when. Not the cleaners' role, apparently. It may be lucky that there's a 10 year accumulation of dust across the tops of the books on the upper shelves - it may just save the books from the messages left by little birds ...

My New Hero

There is more than one Mohammad Tariq in the world, so if you are Googling, make sure you include "Keddies" in the search terms. You will unveil a story worthy of a Hollywood blockbuster.

This particular Mohammad Tariq took on a major law-firm, who had ripped him off mercilessly when they were supposed to be Acting On His Behalf. Mohammad Tariq - eventually - won.

You're probably thinking "that's nice", or something similar. Unless you are a compensation lawyer, in which case you're probably in the middle of shredding documents. Almost worse than a lone-voice-in-the-wilderness, Tariq fought against the establishment. He was threatened with incarceration as "mentally unstable" on one occasion. He was charged $49 by his own lawyer for being told said lawyer was taking a holiday. He was charged hundreds of dollars for phone calls that could have been (and most probably were) made by clerical assistants.

Tariq took to 'sandwich-board' protests. In April this year, one newspaper described him as a "one man headache" when he protested outside the TV station on which Keddies front man has a football talk-show. The same newspaper changed its tune in August, when barrister Michael Robinson, appointed by the Supreme Court, found that ''Keddies in each case has practised systematic duplication and overcharging, which, in my opinion, is deliberate and has in many cases led to the charging of costs that are grossly excessive''.

Mohammad Tariq took a stand and won. Sure, it took him 3 years, but he never gave up - despite all the 'experts' that told him that he would never win; he was wasting his time; he should get over it. Etc. Just a personal opinion, but I think he should be the official Poster Boy for natural justice and fair play.

Weirdness and Mind Power

I have to start, right here, by swearing to you that this is true. You can choose to be sceptical, which is your right. If I was sitting where you are now, and about to read what you are about to read, I can honestly say that I wouldn't believe it either. But that's probably more to to with being a cynic than anything else.

So I'm working away, doing what I'm paid to do, during the course of which some YouTube resources were being evaluated. A small and unexpected deviation into the area of Zen philosophy resulted in a number of footages of streams/forests/mountains with the feely-floaty musical background.

Next thing I knew, and I kid you not, into my office flew a Superb Fairy-Wren. Our American cousins should maybe thing along the lines of a "blue jay". It fluttered around alarmingly for a bit, then settled on the top shelf of my professional resources. For a moment there, I thought it might poop on the folders containing the last 7 years of stock take records. That alone gives pause for reflection.

I co-opted a colleague from a nearby office, and together we gently encouraged my little feathered visitor back out into the Wide World. Bird poop on stock take records might be a fair call, but it sure would be a financial tragedy on expensive reference books.

Being Friday, Staff Morning Tea was the next event on my schedule. Don't laugh - its a serious venue for exchanging information, strengthening working networks, ensuring sufficient sugar levels are maintained until lunchtime.

But Blow-Me-Down! (an Australian expression meaning a surprise of sufficient proportions to knock an individual horizontal). When I came back from Morning Tea, my small feathered friend was perched next to the main door of the library, waiting to be let back in.

Now the really spooky part of this is the thought of what might have happened if I'd been reviewing material on, for example, Continental Drift. Would we have had an earthquake?

Just wondering.

The Cable Guy

So today, our cable TV service Team Member made a "courtesy call" to make sure that we're happy with the service. Only a cynic would note the phone call came after the contract period was finished, and now being Free Agents we can sign up with some one else, if we've a mind to do so.

Was I happy with the service? "No". Really? Why not? Coz we're paying over a hundred bucks a month and still having to go down to the video store and hire something worth watching - although our cable service provides access to over 40 different stations, including six movie channels.

And then, not only do they show rubbish on the channels we are paying for, they also want us to pay them even more money for the "premium" movies. "Premium" in this case translates to movies that people probably wouldn't mind watching.

No, of course I'm not happy. Will this be feedback be conveyed to the appropriate personnel? "But of course!" And which personnel would that be? Unfortunately the telephone line seemed to have dropped out at that point.

Gee, I hope the telco Team Member makes their curtesy phone call soon to see if I'm happy with their service.

Not too long ago, I was awarded a great honor - I was appointed the Mystic Archives Librarian of the Dark Brotherhood. Yet another honorary position; you don't get paid for having fun. Apparently.

If you're not a FaceBook subscriber, this (at the moment) may mean nothing to you. However, if you're a librarian, you will no doubt be shortly rushing off to research the Dark Brotherhood. If you're in the second group (the librarians), remember that I'm only the librarian, and not responsible for the Dark Brotherhood's past activities.

Part of my virtual duties includes regular interaction with the library's patrons. No, you can never escape, even in cyberspace. But the question was posed to the other members "What would you do if you were stuck in the Dark Ages?"

Geez ... as the Librarian of the Dark Brotherhood, obviously I'd use the time to catch up on the cataloguing backlog; I sure as heck don't have the time to do it at the moment, what with having to slave over a hot keyboard 24/7.

OK, I don't *have* to be 24/7 at the keyboard, but if I leave the 'net for anything other than the absolutely necessary, who knows what critical information I might miss out on? And THEN what am I going to do if a library user comes and asks me something - in my capacity as The Font of All Knowledge and The Keeper of the Toilet Key - what am I going to do? Break into a soft-shoe shuffle and hope they back quietly away and never come back again. Sure, that's always worked in the past, but eventually folk are going to expect a little service from The Librarian at some stage ...

And today I did shelving ...

No, not as in "put the books on the shelves" ... as in "unpack the metal frames, brackets and shelves, get a screwdriver (and a big mallet) and assemble them". And THEN put the books on the shelves.

The final result looks great, but it's still not something I'd like to have to do every day - or even every month, year, gig, lifetime ...

So we went from this (left hand side pictures) to that (right hand side pictures).












The colour/color change can be credited to either an innate artistic flare, or to photographic incompetance. You choose ...

76 Trombones in the Grand Parade?

The Street Parade for Blacktown City Festival was inspirational, in many unimagined ways. As each of the 'floats' and groups went past, an overwhelming desire to sign up with the Scouts was quickly followed by wanting to learn the bagpipes, join the Emergency Service volunteer brigades, take up gymnastics, and - I swear this was true albeit only for a few fleeting moments - learn Punjabi.

Mind you, I don't know why each and every vehicle with claxton and/or sirens had to give full voice only when at the closest possible distance from my ears. And why every human tank had to make sure they were walking at inverse warp speed in front of me. Or maybe it only seemed that way? Nah. There must have been a huge meeting somewhere last night, where my photo was distributed and an orchestrated complex set of maneuvers was planned and executed with great precision. Those of you who are thinking that it's just the nicco withdrawal talking better not let me hear you.

Highlight of the day was most probably having a 'chat' with our state Premier (sort of like the US equivalent of governor, but with less visible security). Particularly since I was able to provide my personal gratitude for his kind donation to our school library last year. Mind you, he did seem a little lost for words when I casually dropped the fact that the library budget was once again completely depleted, and less than half way through the year ...

And the stocktake begins ...

Yep, tomorrow stocktake ("inventory") starts for the Non-Fiction location. Having spent the last 4 months culling/weeding/deselecting, it's down to a mere 7K-ish volumes. Five days, 2 people ... hmmm. With one person scanning and the other screen-checking (with regular swapping under OHS), that's only 1400 books/movements per day, on and off shelves.

Over a five hour period (six hours, less 20 minutes morning break and 40 minutes lunch break), that's 280 per hour, or 4 per minute. But allowing for an average of one in ten resources - which was about the going rate for Fiction last year - having a problem that will require approximately 5 minutes to correct (eg catalog error, incorrect spine label, invalid barcode) that's an additional 140 books x 5 minutes work time. That's only another 12 hours work, or a little over 2 additional days.

If the equipment doesn't fail, the network doesn't go down (two power surges in the afternoon on last Friday), no one stops for any reason, like they die or something ...

Memorable Words?

Today is the anniversary of the patenting of the rubber band. At the time, it was (apparently) said that the innovation would mean the end of string. This is true, I'm not making it up.

As usual, there will be The Doubters, to whom I would say you are quite free to research this for yourself. I would only ask that you use an authoritative source, check for currency and lack of bias, and remember to reference your source.

Hmmm ... I wonder who will spot the deliberate error in the above :-)

So, how was *your* day?

This morning started off well, with three hours x 2 goodly folks clearing an enormous backlog of accessioning. Then things started going pear-shaped. The standard back-up procedure 'hung', was remotely 'solved', and the morning's work was completely lost to the system. So tomorrow, we get to do all the work again.

A rainy lunchtime meant a very busy library; borrowing was less than usual, with crowd control becoming first priority. But it was the two men with clip-boards measuring things was a much greater concern - particularly when it came to light that they were looking at what part of the library was expendable. A handicapped toilet had to be constructed, and where else would you put one except in an upstairs area with no adjacent sewerage plumbing? The library was an obvious choice. Not. Being as how the library is 3 classrooms with the walls removed, with one third of the created space taken up with 'administration' type area, one third with resource storage, and one third with reader/learner space, of course the other third could become a handicapped toilet.

A student altercation consumed the rest of the work day; and that didn't even consider the amount of paperwork still to be completed. Resolution was 'not yet reached'.

Then it was off to the hairdresser's in preparation for tomorrow's school photographs. When my spectacles fell in half after being dropped from a very small height. Not to mention the fact that it was raining when I left the salon. On my newly created coiffure.

I'm tempted not to even mention having also cracked a tooth, and not being able to get through to my dentist, let alone not get an appointment.

Ah well, tomorrow's another day.

The mysterious case of the missing librarian ...

... or, where the heck have I been for the last month. That's an easy question to answer, although possibly not quite as easy to justify. In the never-ending battle to stay abreast with cyber-developments, I signed up with Facebook, uploaded pictures, commented on other stuff, and spent about 3 hours a day 'engaging'. [For those who haven't undertaken the Youth of Today's Social Networking Experience, read 'playing games'.]

After only 27 days, I can report that yes, it's addictive; yes, it sucks the life out of life; no, it has virtually no educational value; and no, it doesn't come anywhere near real-life 'socialisation'. Take for instance the Friends facility. Here you can ask people to be your friend, or they can ask you. But then you get little messages that say things like "6 of your friends hate you". Yeah, OK, maybe it isn't all that far removed from real life. Sort of makes you feel like George Bernard Shaw ... "he doesn't have any enemies, but his friends don't like him much".

There were many things that I didn't understand. For example, in the dedicated advertisement portion of each web page were 3 or 4 ads - with an extra little thougthful link to "more ads". I couldn't imagine why anyone would click on that link, except by accident. But sheesh! What would I know? I'm a Baby Boomer in a Gen Y world. Apparently.

On the other hand, I did find out a number of things about myself that I hadn't known before joining Facebook. I absolutely suck at games where getting money relies on the generosity of people you don't know, and who don't appreciate the gravity of the situtation. But wait! That IS just like real life. At least as far as financing the operations of a library.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. I just want to reach Level 50 in Heroes and Villains before I log out for the final time. And I'mwaiting for a power pack for Dragons. Oh, and I have to find out why the daily income in Metropolis has fallen to $12/day ...

The Quietest Excursion Ever?

Friday was a stinker, weather wise, but traveling to the (NSW) State Library for the Australian launch of Room to Read was well worth the trip. The fact that some of Australia's top Young Adult authors got to hang out with me was a bonus ... or maybe it was the other way around.

For non-USA library folks, meet Susanne Gervay, Libby Hathorn, and Melina Marchetta (pictured above) with me. My latest coiffure was courtesy of the early morning start and the extreme heat.

Getting a free copy of John Wood's book (Leaving Microsoft to Change the World) wasn't any problem at all - it was included in the 'show bag'. Having him sign his book was also only a matter of lining up and waiting; I guess he's used to library folk closely supervising what he writes. After all, we don't want any scribbling, do we?

But the whole point of Room to Read is to support the establishment of school libraries in developing countries. Who knew that only US$15,000 was enough to build a whole school in Nepal? A handful of very small schools in my area did some fund raising, and were able to present a cheque for AUD$8,000. Even without the fluctuations in exchange rates, that's half a school already paid for.

The two students from my school that traveled with me on The Excursion also got a tour of the State Library. They were pretty much blown away not only by sheer volume (no pun intended); we descended down into the bowels of closed stacks, saw mammoth OldSystem catalog cards and cabinets (pre 1980 acquisitions, all undergoing entry into the LibraryManagementSystem); the Historical Records bit, etc. A big day.

Website of the Week: OneMotion

Talk about fun! (Yeah, OK ... actually have some fun, if you're allowed to). You can bounce the 'rappers' all over the floor; it's especially fun to drop them on their noses from the top at Breakdance.

Or if you're not that much into that type of diversion, you could also try playing with the spider. Not recommended for arachnophobes, but you grab it by the leg with your mouse and drag it around the screen. It's a lot more fun than it sounds. The right mouse click drops some insects for the spider to eat.

For the more sensitive and caring, OneMotion also offers The Drum Machine or a little snowstorm thingy for the more gentle reader.

Sydney: Holidaying at Home

And now, the Global Economy Crisis Strategy for Vacationing ... "homecationing". A week in one of the world's greatest cities, and without the expense (and drama) of overseas travel. Yes, we "did" Sydney.

For non-Oz readers and others who might be interested ... what did a family of 4 do, and at what cost? Stayed at the Meriton Kent, close to the heart of the CBD, in a 2 BR self-contained unit for AUS$160 per night. (Found via Wotif.com)

Amusements included the Star Wars exhibition (AUD$60 for family ticket) and Luna Park (free entry, pay for rides ... but with the McDonald's vouchers cost was $24 per kid for an Unlimited Ride Ticket). Travel around Sydney was AUD$10 for "Family Fun Day" ticket - all trains, buses and ferries.

Shopping? Paddy's Markets (open Saturday and Sunday) was 2 blocks away. A few good buys, but often cheaper in downtown stores - especially clothes. Don't miss dropping into Elizabeth's Bookshop. Well worth a detour (and no, I don't get a commission).

Eating out? Hotel was 10 metres from "the Spanish Quarter", two blocks from Chinatown, a leisurely stroll to Darling Harbour.

• Best Value meal was at "Mamma's Kitchen" (Italian) in Liverpool Street; total bill came to under AUD$80.
• Worst meal? "Capitan Torres" (Spanish); total bill was over $140 - which included a plate of bone and gristle that was supposed to be the house specialty, Suckling Pig. [After registering two complaints - once with the waiter, then again with the owner - they reduced the total bill by AUD$9.00.]
• Worst value? 4 x Burgers,4 x cola and 3 x chips at The Rocks; total cost AUD$78.00. Really.
• "Cold Rock" Ice cream x 2 was AUD$12.00, but well worth every cent - so I was told by the kids.
  

And being Sydney, lots of free stuff, sightseeing-wise at least - particularly around the harbour and Circular Key. Brilliant saxophonist near Customs' House; didgeridoo playing near the Museum of Modern Art (yes, Sydney has one of those too). Unfortunately the bagpipe player outside City Extra meant we changed our lunch plans for that day. Don't get me wrong, I really like bagpipes, particularly when the piper has a repertoire of more than three tunes.

Come, see, enjoy. And what's even better, for cheap!

Language Abuse: A sign of the times?

News reports of the last day or two have been bemoaning falling literacy standards throughout the country. Welcome to reality, Powers-That-Be. Yeah, we know you've been denying it for decades - but you won't believe the years of academically rigorous studies showing the potential for school libraries to impact positively on educational standards.

Why? Coz it's going to cost you money. Al told you years ago that you were all very good at defining your educational benchmarks, but that you need to also set resourcing benchmarks and do A Little Something about funding them. But wait! You started national testing in 2008. Brilliant!!! But then what?

Here's something interesting ... what does the sign photographed mean? I asked 3 high school students who were waiting for the doors to open. They all said "it means if you join up [as a Museum member], you can get in free". Sadly, no. It's $75 per year.

On the other hand, the Museum staff need to take some heat on this one. Where's the comma supposed to be? And shouldn't there be - at the very least - a semicolon after the word "today"? Ah. "What's a semicolon?". Indeed.

NYE in Sydney; with or without Paris Hilton

Been checking out webcams over the world; seems a bit weird that I was in Times Square only 11 weeks ago. But New Year in Sydney is something else again ... apart from the expected 1.5 million souls lining the Sydney Harbor foreshores for tonight's fireworks, Bondi Beach was as crowded as Hades must get the day after Overdue Notices go out 'n' all those lies get told about what happened to the missing/lost/but-I-brought-it-back stories.

Quite a few cases of sunburn and dehydration, according to the news reports. A relatively quiet NYE here at Warrior Librarian Central. Grouchman got an invite to the Paris Hilton NYE Party, so we won't be seeing him until tomorrow, so at least Warrior Librarian is represented there. I hope he remembers the list of questions I want him to ask The Paris. Geez, the world really must want to know what she's reading at the moment; who her fav. author is; her funny little library anecdotes.

But it's good to hear that The Paris Person has been propping up the Australian Economy; $20K on clothes within the first few hours of arriving here. Strange she's not staying at a Hilton hotel; I guess she must have checked out wotif.com and got the cheap rates. Just guessing on that one though ...

Is the proof in the pudding?

Can't speak about "the proof", but the sherry certainly wasn't in the Christmas trifle. It was in the chef. Best place for it, if I say so myself. Besides which, what with the left-over Tiramisu, Blueberry Cheesecake, enough turkey and ham to feed an army (although not quite enough for three growing teenagers, apparently) cooking here at Warrior Librarian Central can happily be suspended for at least a week.

Hope you all had a good one, too.

Bill Bryson's "Shakespeare"

Just finished reading Bill Bryson's "Shakespeare"; in some ways a disappointment, and in other ways an Interesting Read. Disappointment from the viewpoint that I was hoping for sheer escapism with chortling feel-good overtones. But for goodness sake, Bryson made me think. Again. I've been trying very hard not to do that. It's a hard habit to break.

There's the trademark Bryson Drollness throughout, but in the main 'tis a verily fine example of authentic research - with more than a mere suggestion of the need to Take Your Expectations Out of Their Paper Bag and Smash Them to Smithereens With a Very Heavy, Blunt Instrument.

TYEOTPBSTTSWVHBI; This is a new literary term that I've just coined - although conventional wisdom suggests it's not going to stand the test of time. Probably a bit long, and possibly a little too violent to get a PG13+ rating. You know how censorship is at the moment. And yes, despite the implied violence, it does lack punch.

Anyway, Bryson's book - as with any good research - does raise more questions than it answers. It was a surprise (at least to me) to find out that contemporary Thomas Heywood wrote or co-wrote more than five times the number of plays that Shakespeare wrote. So how come he didn't get his own Dewey number?

With his unique turn of phrase, Bryson variously describes Shakespeare's writing "as marked with a messy exuberance", "invigoratingly wayward", and parts that "defeat interpretation" by the experts. These are all virtues that will hearten Joe and Jane Blogger.

And isn't it great for the average semi-literate student of any age to find out that in the six surviving signatures of Shakespeare, he doesn't worry too much about spelling even his own name in any consistent way. Sheesh, the accepted spelling now in use isn't one that the writer himself ever used.

So here's a little homework for those replete with festive fare of all kinds. What the heck is meant by "swithald footed thrice the old, a nellthu night more and her nine fold". (King Lear) I've got a few interpretations of my own, but I think in this context it pretty much means I should sign off and go read something else.

Did someone mention "Bah, humbug"?

Maybe old Chuck Dickens was onto something back in 1843. With only 4 more sleeps until Santa (or the metric equivalent) arrives, anyone who's been near the stores could vouch for the distinct lack of Christmas spirit.

Sure, there's decorations galore; the charity wrappers are doing brisk business on behalf of the less fortunate; and the financial pundits spewing gloom and doom obviously haven't tried to get a parking spot within carting distance of any shopping mall.

But here's the down side. There's a cheery greeting at the check-out, but the faces of the shoppers tell tales tall and true of weariness, heartache, and sore feet. And that's just on the way into the main doors. The old 'drop shoulder' is making a come-back amongst those who haven't punted a ball for generations; elbows are getting a work-out beyond anything a pump class could achieve.

And just try to get a copy of the latest Stephanie Myer book either in a chain store or a book shop. Forget it. Everyone has sold out. If that isn't just the last straw ...
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Superheroes for Library Justice

Was just thinking that maybe it's time to update the poster, and not just because of the spelling mistake ...

So how's the new gig going?

Pretty good, and thanks for asking.  Although it couldn't be called - in the mythological sense - actual 'library Elysian Fields' (that would take at least two more zeros added to the end of the budget allocation), it's at least the holding pen to the field entry.  

Please forgive the AACR2-related pun.  

As the school year winds up, with only one more day to go before the 5 week break, the entire cataloguing backlog has now been cleared, with just a few problematic resources needing attention.  The annual library report is close to being finished; the major highlight is a three-fold increase in library borrowing.  Nice, but my work here is not yet done.  Geez, is it ever?!

Planning and resourcing is finished for next year's Library Orientation program.  If it wasn't so twee, I'd almost be tempted to publish it.  Let us all be thankful for small mercies.

The Shoestring Refurbishment has temporarily stalled, awaiting advice as to how much longer next year's shoestring might be.  And people say I'm not an optimist!

Rolling eyes skyward, again

Only a few months short of 10 years of 'administrating' the Casual and Relief School Library Staff Database, and finally got another Thank You. That would make around 5 of them altogether, over the years. Sheesh, all those nights spent slaving over a hot computer, without so much as a hint of expecting any payment (yeah, OK, I might have dropped a few hints about preferences in chocolate and/or flowers).

Mainly the comments have been more along the lines of "I sent you the information weeks ago", or " ...tell the person in charge ...". Good grief! It's almost enough to make me think about considering the possibility of introducing a fee. Luckily I'm basically too lazy to do that, for which the database folk (job seekers and vacancy fillers alike) should be extra grateful. Or at least less unpleasant.

I must be in a particularly narky mood tonight - probably something to do with the spectacular full moon on Friday. Apparently at the maximum thingy, being the closest to Planet Earth for years. And, as usual, it was cloudy here in Sydney. Bucketing with rain, actually.

Yep, The Heavens opened up, if not the clouds. Which then begs the question - can a cloud's silver lining be seen on a dark and stormy night?
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Did the canon fire its last shot? The demise of the Western Fiction genre

Does anyone read Zane Grey anymore? And who is writing in that genre? "Western Fiction" seems to have gone pretty much to Boot Hill, a very few notable movies excepted. Although there are the usual disparities in definition (Wiki and the well-known literary website Economic Expert, for example), the horses, trail-dust, and other commonalities are independent of the location.

Notably though, in Australia they should have been called "Easterns" or possibly "Northerns"; a Western here would involve a hell of a lot of water. (Western Australians should now feel free to write to your local newspaper editors and complain about bias and Geographism.)

To be honest, I didn't see any evidence in the library of The Western crawling away to die alone in a remote desert cave. The sad truth hit me during a scrap-booking expedition to find a background for an equestrian-themed page. There wasn't one piece of horsey wrapping paper to be had in any of the major retailers or dime stores; not one birthday card, not so much as a set of kids' stickers.

When did kids stop being obsessed with horses? Now that I think about it, even the Animal Stories shelves have accumulated more than the average amount of dust. Maybe it's just me, having grounded my youth around The Loan Ranger, Zorro, and later in life Bonanza and other things with horses in it, but now I wonder if the problems of contemporary youth have a foundation in a lack of equine contact and/or interest? As Will Rogers is credited with saying "The best thing for the inside of a man is the outside of a horse".
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More cheap ideas: Library Seating

Now here's another great idea from the MAKEZINE blog. Not only do you get more furniture for no additional cost, but you recycle without having to go through the tortures of wondering whether or not traditional recycling consumes more energy and materials than just creating new materials.

There seems to be many great ideas out there in cyberspace for re-birthing old library junk (including culls and weeds) for other purposes.


If you've got a spare moment or 30, check out the Instructables website. There's also information on the Inverted Book Shelf (see right), which would be a great gag for libraries on the next April Fool's Day. Mind you, to do this to a whole library is just asking for a whole lot of extra work, if not something a tad more serious in the disciplinary area.

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STFUNK

So what do you do when you want something to change on a systemic level? You write a proposal, and support it with evidence, right?

Having now reached the stage where I've collected a significant amount of documentation ending with "further correspondence on this matter will be filed without reply", it might be time to suggest the incorporation of yet another new acronym to the corporate listing.

STFUNK. The first two words are "Shut The". And the last two words are "No one Cares" (and yes, I know that "cares" starts with a C and not a K - but we live in phonetic times. You have to use your imagination as to what the middle two words are, but the second one is "Up", if that's any help.
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The Night the Heavens Smiled

Now here's something you don't see every day (or night); an alignment of Jupiter, Venus and a crescent moon, forming a smiley face. Not sure what parts of the planet you could view this from, but it was visible in the Western Sydney sky just on sunset tonight. Apparently. It was cloudy here.

Sigh. News is that it will happen again in another 5 years.

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Shoestring Budget Library Renovations

Having wasted the last few nights trying to get images to upload in some sort of visually acceptable layout, I've moved them to the WLW website.

The 'table' area has been replaced with the large tables that used to house the computers; the defunct computer area has become The Briefing Room (now trying to source a humungous flat-screen TV for nix - wish me luck!); the photocopier has been relocated to the back of the library; and all the tatty old signs have been removed.

See also: http://warriorlibrarian.com/LIBRARY/shoestring.html for more pix.

Some of the daggier bits have been covered up with bookstore/publisher promotional posters - which had an interesting and unexpected outcome. Today a library user wanted to borrow the book shown on the poster in front of the main entrance. OK, I lied ... I said the book was on order and hadn't arrived yet. It will indeed be on order by COB tomorrow.

Be careful what you ask for?

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Is enthusiasm expensive?

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Why is apathy more prevalent than enthusiasm? I've checked the catalogues, and cross-checked with suppliers, and they seem to cost about the same per unit volume. And we're not talking about the trite "absolutely" responses, but a genuine heart-felt acknowledgement of any of life's manifold joys; whether they be as simple as an idea, or as complex as an action.

Whistle while you work? Not since Disney remade Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ...
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The games people play

In some ways, it's sort of 'interesting' (in that Chinese curse sort of way) to blog away, knowing that there are now two (2) government departments monitoring this blog, as well as WLW. Hope they enjoy reading about the library renovations; circulation boosting tips might come to this blog shortly.

I almost feel sorry for the poor smucks who have no interest in libraries, but get paid to read 'certain potentially damaging' Web 2.0 material written by Known (and flagged) Recalcitrants. Isn't it a shame that George Orwell didn't forsee this particular aspect of technology? Oh wait! He actually did.

And here's something that's going to make a lot of other folk pretty angry; but at least our American Cousins have the advantage of knowing about it. Take a 10 minute break here at YouTube if you've got a strong stomach, privacy-wise. How do you feel about the software that, in 15 minutes, " could scan and interpret every book in the Library of Congress" [PBS Documentary] ... but of course that's not what they're using it for ...

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What a day!

So yesterday I went into the city to Attend to Some Business ... a matter that would require its own website to provide the complete picture, in all its technicolour glory. And maybe one day, that same website may indeed appear, if the book version doesn't eventuate.


All that aside, an additional 'excitement' after picking the kids up from school - a fun-filled (not) adventure to the local hospital Emergency Ward, a loooong wait, and a broadcast radio interview.


Going into work today, sorting books and packing 41 boxes for transport on Tuesday next week to PNG (over 70% of schools in PNG don't have a library), a Yard Duty, Year 8 class, exam marking, report writing (due next week!) and the all the usual daily library tasks - including the covering of 30 new books - was pretty much a 'walk in the park, compared to yesterday.


Looks like changing the world, one library at a time, might have to be postponed until tomorrow.
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"Clever conversations"?

Billy Joel has done some very pleasant music; "I like you just the way you are" was on the radio as I was driving home from work. Maybe because the kids weren't in the car and I could actually hear something else other than "can we ..." and "but you said", I actually got to hear the lyrics.

"I don't want clever conversation ... I just want someone that I can talk to ..."

Time to bring the lyrics up to date with something more caring and sensitive, Billy. How about something along the lines of:

“Among men and women, those in love do not always announce themselves with declarations and vows. But they are the ones who weep when you're gone. Who miss you every single night, especially when the sky is so deep and beautiful, and the ground so very cold.” [Alice Hoffman]

OK, it doesn't scan well or even rhyme. But isn't the language lovely? And the sentiment deep? It almost makes the reader want to paint red roses on black velvet, or pen poetry with a quill. In extreme cases, it might even make one feel like having a cup of coffee and an immoderate piece of medicinal chocolate ...

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It's all Greek to some folk

So the invitation to present a paper at The International Conference on Qualitative and Quantitative Methods in Libraries, (QQML2009) arrives in the email. So off to check out the website, and it all seems bona fide. A conference in Crete. Never been to Greece, and have to wonder if my chronic monolingualism would be a barrier.

I'm still recovering from being asked in Washington "what language to you speak in Australia", went I was asking directions to the Space Museum - seems I was apparently asking about the "spice" museum.

Anyhows, out goes my email, asking what the arrangements are for covering travel and accommodation expenses. Sheesh, it never hurts to ask, does it?

Apparently, "conference presentations would be Theoretical and Technical papers, Case studies, Applications, Collaborative projects targeted at a wide range of audiences". Gee, how would library humor and Warrior Librarianship fit into this?

Truth be told, though, I've amassed a what some folk would consider an interesting collection of bizarre statistics relating to libraries. The professional journals don't seem to cover operational issues such as how many times you have to tell some people what the rules are for mobile phones in libraries.

And as for analytical methodology, statisticians would never sleep soundly again if they knew how librarians' hard data has to be transcribed into a format understandable to the average 5 year old; not to mention comprehensible by those who make decisions on those little things, such as budgets, priorities, the information landscape in the 21st century, technology and its role in information storage and retrieval, the stressors for contemporary information professionals, etc.

By the way, the 5-year-olds are way out in front in comprehension. And they're not even Greek.

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From control to chaos, or maybe the reverse?

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Now here's a dilemma; from the dictates of high order organisation - spine labels in some sort of standardised position, the fiction/non-fiction dichotomy, and let's not even mention AACR2 (unless you're a professional cataloguer (in which place go for it!) - to the 'controlled randomness' of scrap booking. Can there be room in one life for both?

Having almost mastered the skill of 'letting go' of straight lines and edges for scrapping's sake, the Big Dream Plan for the library sort of demands an ultra-extreme austerity of visual impact.

Probably best not to mention the feng shui catastrophe of my office. Never mind the ideal of having some running water in the proper corner of the room (a full-size Trevi Fountain replica would have been my first choice, but it wouldn't fit), or a picture of a mountain in the other part (which at least would be 'doable'). The shelves overflowing with the backlog of end processing are going to have to be cleared; not to mention the self-positioned trip hazards over the floor.

And yes, thanks for thinking "she should be doing that anyway". Very helpful. It often seems that more stuff gets into my office than goes out. Maybe it feels safe in there, or likes the ambiance?

But the stock-standard downside of a major clean-up is the problem of location identification - "finding stuff" after a Thorough Tidying. For some reason, this isn't a problem in the stacks, but once I 'file' my stick-it notes and other important information (which for some reason gets written on paper the size of oxygen molecules) they become very difficult to relocate. I believe this is most probably caused by mysterious cosmic powers executing "The Revenge of the Trees".

So with the feng shui-ness of positioning perils, I'll also be facing the wrath of air and water if I don't get the polarity right, or I somehow inadvertently create conflict between the Qi and Niao, or any of those similar pitfalls that can be cut-and-pasted off any website. Chaos will reign supreme.

Which I guess will leave my office in pretty much the same state it's in now.

Just another day at the office ...

You know how when you get inspired to "dream no small dreams" (either Victor Hugo or Gothe, depending on the infallable Internet!) and you just have to go roll your sleeves up and get stuck right into it, and then the whole thing sort of snowballs?

I'm sure that it's not "just me", but I could be wrong. I often am.

Stage One of the Library Refurbishment Project is well under way. Sure, I seemed to have spent a lot of time under desks with a screw-driver, but then who doesn't? They teach us how to do all that stuff in Library School, right? Not. Sure would be helpful though ...

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What's the opposite of "l'esprit de l'escalier"?

I can never remember that phrase, "l'esprit de l'escalier"; to think of a great come-back, only at a time when it's too late to use it. Now I'm trying to find the opposite.

Is there a phase meaning to have said something really witty (or possibly something exceptionally trite or droll ), but having forgotten what it was when someone sends you a photograph of the moment? For example, like in this photo taken by one of the organisers of the Kevin Hennah Conference ...

Can anyone help with either the phrase or what I might have said?

How to treat a cat with bubonic plague?

Now that's a question that would keep a lot of folks awake at night; not to mention trying to figure out what you might need to know if you suddenly (and presumably unexpectedly) had to care for an elephant.

What about if (for reasons best known to yourself or your treating Mental Health Care Professional) you wanted to buy some melted sand from the first atomic bomb blast? Goodness knows how many of us have pondered the procedure for undocking a damaged shuttle from international space stations so a rescue vehicle can dock. You can just never tell when you might need that sort of information, can you?

Many thanks to Ted Ives, CEO of Find How Incorporated, for pointing me to the answers to these and many other questions that reduce our productivity and give us migraines. Find How is the first Family, School and Library Friendly accredited search engine.

Well worth a look, even if the accreditation is self-awarded. Their Wild and Wacky Search Results should at least provide an Emergency Laugh if you're on a tough shift. Unfortunately though, some schools won't be able to access it, as it's Not The Preferred Search Tool as Determined Through the Mysterious and Secret Policies of the Powers That Be.

And don't get me started on that!