NYE in Sydney; with or without Paris Hilton

Been checking out webcams over the world; seems a bit weird that I was in Times Square only 11 weeks ago. But New Year in Sydney is something else again ... apart from the expected 1.5 million souls lining the Sydney Harbor foreshores for tonight's fireworks, Bondi Beach was as crowded as Hades must get the day after Overdue Notices go out 'n' all those lies get told about what happened to the missing/lost/but-I-brought-it-back stories.

Quite a few cases of sunburn and dehydration, according to the news reports. A relatively quiet NYE here at Warrior Librarian Central. Grouchman got an invite to the Paris Hilton NYE Party, so we won't be seeing him until tomorrow, so at least Warrior Librarian is represented there. I hope he remembers the list of questions I want him to ask The Paris. Geez, the world really must want to know what she's reading at the moment; who her fav. author is; her funny little library anecdotes.

But it's good to hear that The Paris Person has been propping up the Australian Economy; $20K on clothes within the first few hours of arriving here. Strange she's not staying at a Hilton hotel; I guess she must have checked out wotif.com and got the cheap rates. Just guessing on that one though ...

Is the proof in the pudding?

Can't speak about "the proof", but the sherry certainly wasn't in the Christmas trifle. It was in the chef. Best place for it, if I say so myself. Besides which, what with the left-over Tiramisu, Blueberry Cheesecake, enough turkey and ham to feed an army (although not quite enough for three growing teenagers, apparently) cooking here at Warrior Librarian Central can happily be suspended for at least a week.

Hope you all had a good one, too.

Bill Bryson's "Shakespeare"

Just finished reading Bill Bryson's "Shakespeare"; in some ways a disappointment, and in other ways an Interesting Read. Disappointment from the viewpoint that I was hoping for sheer escapism with chortling feel-good overtones. But for goodness sake, Bryson made me think. Again. I've been trying very hard not to do that. It's a hard habit to break.

There's the trademark Bryson Drollness throughout, but in the main 'tis a verily fine example of authentic research - with more than a mere suggestion of the need to Take Your Expectations Out of Their Paper Bag and Smash Them to Smithereens With a Very Heavy, Blunt Instrument.

TYEOTPBSTTSWVHBI; This is a new literary term that I've just coined - although conventional wisdom suggests it's not going to stand the test of time. Probably a bit long, and possibly a little too violent to get a PG13+ rating. You know how censorship is at the moment. And yes, despite the implied violence, it does lack punch.

Anyway, Bryson's book - as with any good research - does raise more questions than it answers. It was a surprise (at least to me) to find out that contemporary Thomas Heywood wrote or co-wrote more than five times the number of plays that Shakespeare wrote. So how come he didn't get his own Dewey number?

With his unique turn of phrase, Bryson variously describes Shakespeare's writing "as marked with a messy exuberance", "invigoratingly wayward", and parts that "defeat interpretation" by the experts. These are all virtues that will hearten Joe and Jane Blogger.

And isn't it great for the average semi-literate student of any age to find out that in the six surviving signatures of Shakespeare, he doesn't worry too much about spelling even his own name in any consistent way. Sheesh, the accepted spelling now in use isn't one that the writer himself ever used.

So here's a little homework for those replete with festive fare of all kinds. What the heck is meant by "swithald footed thrice the old, a nellthu night more and her nine fold". (King Lear) I've got a few interpretations of my own, but I think in this context it pretty much means I should sign off and go read something else.

Did someone mention "Bah, humbug"?

Maybe old Chuck Dickens was onto something back in 1843. With only 4 more sleeps until Santa (or the metric equivalent) arrives, anyone who's been near the stores could vouch for the distinct lack of Christmas spirit.

Sure, there's decorations galore; the charity wrappers are doing brisk business on behalf of the less fortunate; and the financial pundits spewing gloom and doom obviously haven't tried to get a parking spot within carting distance of any shopping mall.

But here's the down side. There's a cheery greeting at the check-out, but the faces of the shoppers tell tales tall and true of weariness, heartache, and sore feet. And that's just on the way into the main doors. The old 'drop shoulder' is making a come-back amongst those who haven't punted a ball for generations; elbows are getting a work-out beyond anything a pump class could achieve.

And just try to get a copy of the latest Stephanie Myer book either in a chain store or a book shop. Forget it. Everyone has sold out. If that isn't just the last straw ...
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Superheroes for Library Justice

Was just thinking that maybe it's time to update the poster, and not just because of the spelling mistake ...

So how's the new gig going?

Pretty good, and thanks for asking.  Although it couldn't be called - in the mythological sense - actual 'library Elysian Fields' (that would take at least two more zeros added to the end of the budget allocation), it's at least the holding pen to the field entry.  

Please forgive the AACR2-related pun.  

As the school year winds up, with only one more day to go before the 5 week break, the entire cataloguing backlog has now been cleared, with just a few problematic resources needing attention.  The annual library report is close to being finished; the major highlight is a three-fold increase in library borrowing.  Nice, but my work here is not yet done.  Geez, is it ever?!

Planning and resourcing is finished for next year's Library Orientation program.  If it wasn't so twee, I'd almost be tempted to publish it.  Let us all be thankful for small mercies.

The Shoestring Refurbishment has temporarily stalled, awaiting advice as to how much longer next year's shoestring might be.  And people say I'm not an optimist!

Rolling eyes skyward, again

Only a few months short of 10 years of 'administrating' the Casual and Relief School Library Staff Database, and finally got another Thank You. That would make around 5 of them altogether, over the years. Sheesh, all those nights spent slaving over a hot computer, without so much as a hint of expecting any payment (yeah, OK, I might have dropped a few hints about preferences in chocolate and/or flowers).

Mainly the comments have been more along the lines of "I sent you the information weeks ago", or " ...tell the person in charge ...". Good grief! It's almost enough to make me think about considering the possibility of introducing a fee. Luckily I'm basically too lazy to do that, for which the database folk (job seekers and vacancy fillers alike) should be extra grateful. Or at least less unpleasant.

I must be in a particularly narky mood tonight - probably something to do with the spectacular full moon on Friday. Apparently at the maximum thingy, being the closest to Planet Earth for years. And, as usual, it was cloudy here in Sydney. Bucketing with rain, actually.

Yep, The Heavens opened up, if not the clouds. Which then begs the question - can a cloud's silver lining be seen on a dark and stormy night?
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Did the canon fire its last shot? The demise of the Western Fiction genre

Does anyone read Zane Grey anymore? And who is writing in that genre? "Western Fiction" seems to have gone pretty much to Boot Hill, a very few notable movies excepted. Although there are the usual disparities in definition (Wiki and the well-known literary website Economic Expert, for example), the horses, trail-dust, and other commonalities are independent of the location.

Notably though, in Australia they should have been called "Easterns" or possibly "Northerns"; a Western here would involve a hell of a lot of water. (Western Australians should now feel free to write to your local newspaper editors and complain about bias and Geographism.)

To be honest, I didn't see any evidence in the library of The Western crawling away to die alone in a remote desert cave. The sad truth hit me during a scrap-booking expedition to find a background for an equestrian-themed page. There wasn't one piece of horsey wrapping paper to be had in any of the major retailers or dime stores; not one birthday card, not so much as a set of kids' stickers.

When did kids stop being obsessed with horses? Now that I think about it, even the Animal Stories shelves have accumulated more than the average amount of dust. Maybe it's just me, having grounded my youth around The Loan Ranger, Zorro, and later in life Bonanza and other things with horses in it, but now I wonder if the problems of contemporary youth have a foundation in a lack of equine contact and/or interest? As Will Rogers is credited with saying "The best thing for the inside of a man is the outside of a horse".
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More cheap ideas: Library Seating

Now here's another great idea from the MAKEZINE blog. Not only do you get more furniture for no additional cost, but you recycle without having to go through the tortures of wondering whether or not traditional recycling consumes more energy and materials than just creating new materials.

There seems to be many great ideas out there in cyberspace for re-birthing old library junk (including culls and weeds) for other purposes.


If you've got a spare moment or 30, check out the Instructables website. There's also information on the Inverted Book Shelf (see right), which would be a great gag for libraries on the next April Fool's Day. Mind you, to do this to a whole library is just asking for a whole lot of extra work, if not something a tad more serious in the disciplinary area.

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STFUNK

So what do you do when you want something to change on a systemic level? You write a proposal, and support it with evidence, right?

Having now reached the stage where I've collected a significant amount of documentation ending with "further correspondence on this matter will be filed without reply", it might be time to suggest the incorporation of yet another new acronym to the corporate listing.

STFUNK. The first two words are "Shut The". And the last two words are "No one Cares" (and yes, I know that "cares" starts with a C and not a K - but we live in phonetic times. You have to use your imagination as to what the middle two words are, but the second one is "Up", if that's any help.
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The Night the Heavens Smiled

Now here's something you don't see every day (or night); an alignment of Jupiter, Venus and a crescent moon, forming a smiley face. Not sure what parts of the planet you could view this from, but it was visible in the Western Sydney sky just on sunset tonight. Apparently. It was cloudy here.

Sigh. News is that it will happen again in another 5 years.

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Shoestring Budget Library Renovations

Having wasted the last few nights trying to get images to upload in some sort of visually acceptable layout, I've moved them to the WLW website.

The 'table' area has been replaced with the large tables that used to house the computers; the defunct computer area has become The Briefing Room (now trying to source a humungous flat-screen TV for nix - wish me luck!); the photocopier has been relocated to the back of the library; and all the tatty old signs have been removed.

See also: http://warriorlibrarian.com/LIBRARY/shoestring.html for more pix.

Some of the daggier bits have been covered up with bookstore/publisher promotional posters - which had an interesting and unexpected outcome. Today a library user wanted to borrow the book shown on the poster in front of the main entrance. OK, I lied ... I said the book was on order and hadn't arrived yet. It will indeed be on order by COB tomorrow.

Be careful what you ask for?

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Is enthusiasm expensive?

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Why is apathy more prevalent than enthusiasm? I've checked the catalogues, and cross-checked with suppliers, and they seem to cost about the same per unit volume. And we're not talking about the trite "absolutely" responses, but a genuine heart-felt acknowledgement of any of life's manifold joys; whether they be as simple as an idea, or as complex as an action.

Whistle while you work? Not since Disney remade Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ...
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The games people play

In some ways, it's sort of 'interesting' (in that Chinese curse sort of way) to blog away, knowing that there are now two (2) government departments monitoring this blog, as well as WLW. Hope they enjoy reading about the library renovations; circulation boosting tips might come to this blog shortly.

I almost feel sorry for the poor smucks who have no interest in libraries, but get paid to read 'certain potentially damaging' Web 2.0 material written by Known (and flagged) Recalcitrants. Isn't it a shame that George Orwell didn't forsee this particular aspect of technology? Oh wait! He actually did.

And here's something that's going to make a lot of other folk pretty angry; but at least our American Cousins have the advantage of knowing about it. Take a 10 minute break here at YouTube if you've got a strong stomach, privacy-wise. How do you feel about the software that, in 15 minutes, " could scan and interpret every book in the Library of Congress" [PBS Documentary] ... but of course that's not what they're using it for ...

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What a day!

So yesterday I went into the city to Attend to Some Business ... a matter that would require its own website to provide the complete picture, in all its technicolour glory. And maybe one day, that same website may indeed appear, if the book version doesn't eventuate.


All that aside, an additional 'excitement' after picking the kids up from school - a fun-filled (not) adventure to the local hospital Emergency Ward, a loooong wait, and a broadcast radio interview.


Going into work today, sorting books and packing 41 boxes for transport on Tuesday next week to PNG (over 70% of schools in PNG don't have a library), a Yard Duty, Year 8 class, exam marking, report writing (due next week!) and the all the usual daily library tasks - including the covering of 30 new books - was pretty much a 'walk in the park, compared to yesterday.


Looks like changing the world, one library at a time, might have to be postponed until tomorrow.
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"Clever conversations"?

Billy Joel has done some very pleasant music; "I like you just the way you are" was on the radio as I was driving home from work. Maybe because the kids weren't in the car and I could actually hear something else other than "can we ..." and "but you said", I actually got to hear the lyrics.

"I don't want clever conversation ... I just want someone that I can talk to ..."

Time to bring the lyrics up to date with something more caring and sensitive, Billy. How about something along the lines of:

“Among men and women, those in love do not always announce themselves with declarations and vows. But they are the ones who weep when you're gone. Who miss you every single night, especially when the sky is so deep and beautiful, and the ground so very cold.” [Alice Hoffman]

OK, it doesn't scan well or even rhyme. But isn't the language lovely? And the sentiment deep? It almost makes the reader want to paint red roses on black velvet, or pen poetry with a quill. In extreme cases, it might even make one feel like having a cup of coffee and an immoderate piece of medicinal chocolate ...

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It's all Greek to some folk

So the invitation to present a paper at The International Conference on Qualitative and Quantitative Methods in Libraries, (QQML2009) arrives in the email. So off to check out the website, and it all seems bona fide. A conference in Crete. Never been to Greece, and have to wonder if my chronic monolingualism would be a barrier.

I'm still recovering from being asked in Washington "what language to you speak in Australia", went I was asking directions to the Space Museum - seems I was apparently asking about the "spice" museum.

Anyhows, out goes my email, asking what the arrangements are for covering travel and accommodation expenses. Sheesh, it never hurts to ask, does it?

Apparently, "conference presentations would be Theoretical and Technical papers, Case studies, Applications, Collaborative projects targeted at a wide range of audiences". Gee, how would library humor and Warrior Librarianship fit into this?

Truth be told, though, I've amassed a what some folk would consider an interesting collection of bizarre statistics relating to libraries. The professional journals don't seem to cover operational issues such as how many times you have to tell some people what the rules are for mobile phones in libraries.

And as for analytical methodology, statisticians would never sleep soundly again if they knew how librarians' hard data has to be transcribed into a format understandable to the average 5 year old; not to mention comprehensible by those who make decisions on those little things, such as budgets, priorities, the information landscape in the 21st century, technology and its role in information storage and retrieval, the stressors for contemporary information professionals, etc.

By the way, the 5-year-olds are way out in front in comprehension. And they're not even Greek.

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From control to chaos, or maybe the reverse?

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Now here's a dilemma; from the dictates of high order organisation - spine labels in some sort of standardised position, the fiction/non-fiction dichotomy, and let's not even mention AACR2 (unless you're a professional cataloguer (in which place go for it!) - to the 'controlled randomness' of scrap booking. Can there be room in one life for both?

Having almost mastered the skill of 'letting go' of straight lines and edges for scrapping's sake, the Big Dream Plan for the library sort of demands an ultra-extreme austerity of visual impact.

Probably best not to mention the feng shui catastrophe of my office. Never mind the ideal of having some running water in the proper corner of the room (a full-size Trevi Fountain replica would have been my first choice, but it wouldn't fit), or a picture of a mountain in the other part (which at least would be 'doable'). The shelves overflowing with the backlog of end processing are going to have to be cleared; not to mention the self-positioned trip hazards over the floor.

And yes, thanks for thinking "she should be doing that anyway". Very helpful. It often seems that more stuff gets into my office than goes out. Maybe it feels safe in there, or likes the ambiance?

But the stock-standard downside of a major clean-up is the problem of location identification - "finding stuff" after a Thorough Tidying. For some reason, this isn't a problem in the stacks, but once I 'file' my stick-it notes and other important information (which for some reason gets written on paper the size of oxygen molecules) they become very difficult to relocate. I believe this is most probably caused by mysterious cosmic powers executing "The Revenge of the Trees".

So with the feng shui-ness of positioning perils, I'll also be facing the wrath of air and water if I don't get the polarity right, or I somehow inadvertently create conflict between the Qi and Niao, or any of those similar pitfalls that can be cut-and-pasted off any website. Chaos will reign supreme.

Which I guess will leave my office in pretty much the same state it's in now.

Just another day at the office ...

You know how when you get inspired to "dream no small dreams" (either Victor Hugo or Gothe, depending on the infallable Internet!) and you just have to go roll your sleeves up and get stuck right into it, and then the whole thing sort of snowballs?

I'm sure that it's not "just me", but I could be wrong. I often am.

Stage One of the Library Refurbishment Project is well under way. Sure, I seemed to have spent a lot of time under desks with a screw-driver, but then who doesn't? They teach us how to do all that stuff in Library School, right? Not. Sure would be helpful though ...

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What's the opposite of "l'esprit de l'escalier"?

I can never remember that phrase, "l'esprit de l'escalier"; to think of a great come-back, only at a time when it's too late to use it. Now I'm trying to find the opposite.

Is there a phase meaning to have said something really witty (or possibly something exceptionally trite or droll ), but having forgotten what it was when someone sends you a photograph of the moment? For example, like in this photo taken by one of the organisers of the Kevin Hennah Conference ...

Can anyone help with either the phrase or what I might have said?

How to treat a cat with bubonic plague?

Now that's a question that would keep a lot of folks awake at night; not to mention trying to figure out what you might need to know if you suddenly (and presumably unexpectedly) had to care for an elephant.

What about if (for reasons best known to yourself or your treating Mental Health Care Professional) you wanted to buy some melted sand from the first atomic bomb blast? Goodness knows how many of us have pondered the procedure for undocking a damaged shuttle from international space stations so a rescue vehicle can dock. You can just never tell when you might need that sort of information, can you?

Many thanks to Ted Ives, CEO of Find How Incorporated, for pointing me to the answers to these and many other questions that reduce our productivity and give us migraines. Find How is the first Family, School and Library Friendly accredited search engine.

Well worth a look, even if the accreditation is self-awarded. Their Wild and Wacky Search Results should at least provide an Emergency Laugh if you're on a tough shift. Unfortunately though, some schools won't be able to access it, as it's Not The Preferred Search Tool as Determined Through the Mysterious and Secret Policies of the Powers That Be.

And don't get me started on that!

Predictive Humor

It's almost scary! Almost seven years ago, I wrote the infamous satirical list of Thin Books for Busy Librarians - which included "Successful Introduction of Beowulf to Reluctant Readers". Sitting on the shelves of my library now are two books that are achieving just that; one a graphic novel and the other a 'picture book' version. Mind you, the reasonably recent release of the movie of the book didn't hurt, either.

Today I attended one of the most worthwhile Professional Development activities I've been to in literally decades - Kevin Hennah's Visual merchandising and space management for libraries. Not only were the ideas brilliant, but also achievable, budget wise. But the scary bit was the fact that I wrote another satirical piece ages ago (as in years, not geological epochs), on how to tart up a daggy library with sticky tape and library glue.

Fortunately, today's event wasn't a presentation about tacking up your basic bits of paper, with tragic layout, onto already cluttered walls and noticeboards. In a strange sort of a way that was a bit of a shame, really - that's one of my areas of speciality.

Words cannot describe how a very impressive change can be achieved, with the expenditure of only a few hundred dollars. Actually that's not quite true. Words could describe it ... but its been a long day, and I haven't had my afternoon Power Coma yet. [Power "naps" are for whimps.]

A New Genre? The "Ban Me" Book

It wasn't so long ago that The Sydney Morning Herald’s Top 10 (book sales) for independent bookshops lists The dangerous books for boys (HarperCollins) at No #2 for the week.

Could authors now be deliberately seeking out notioriety in order to increase revenue? Will it be long before we see other titles like maybe: Racial slurs for all public speaking engagements, S*xist remarks to make at formal dinners, or indeed Offensive behaviour for every occassion.

Maybe these books already exist; as many liberry users seem to think that liberrians keep them locked away somewhere, with all the other good stuff ….

Weeding, Culling, Stocktake and/or Inventory

Sure, you’ve got a whole document on your library’s policy for removing material from circulation, and the auditor’s are quite happy with statement’s like “damaged beyond repair” or “not borrowed for 50 years”. But let’s show some consideration for those future generations that follow in our footsteps, and may be in need of an Emergency Laugh. Why not demonstrate some creativity in our reporting?

1. Removed (with long tongs) due to malodorous fog surrounding item
2. Item contained photograph that resembled librarian’s ex-husband
3. Reading Circle members suggested that book be removed as an acceptable compromise to breaking staff’s kneecaps
4. Superceded by any of the last 20 editions of this encyclopaedia
5. Too many books on this shelf - something had to go. This was ‘it’
6. Critical accumulated mass of book lice residing in book found to exceed OSH maximum lifting recommendations
7. Font size too small; budget request for electron microscope reader refused
8. Hazardous Materials Team refused to handle item, so it could not longer be shelved

Ah well ...

Is it too late?

I read recently that the Nobel Prizes are not granted posthumously. Which is really bad, at least for me. Was actually sort of hoping that while my life to date has been nothing prizeworthy, at some distant point in the future someone might have researched into something I said or did (or maybe didn’t say or do) and found that it had Earth-shattering consequences for the future of the planet, or perhaps even beyond. (We are talking very distant future here.)

But now it looks as though I might have to actually do (or say) something significant before Passing On. So far I’ve only excelled in the Not Doing (or Not Saying) anything too startling. Mind you, given the sheer volume of what I’ve not done, that really should count towards a major award of some sort …

(Originally published in the old blog)

Somewhere to Read?

So your average punter has spent a good hour or so searching the stacks for enough brain fodder to keep them going for a week or so. Where the heck are they going to find the right ambience to do their reading. Sure, there’s always the good old bedroom, late at night - when something of the heft of a 10-foot bargepole is needed to keep the eyelids open. But where does one find such a reading aid, let alone instructions for using it?

Of course, there’s those lucky enough to use a ‘commute’ to work - ideal place to read? Not. At least the Poms have cell phone-free rail carriages - but what about the rest of the semi-civilised world? Even if the moron next to you on the train isn’t jabbering on inanely and incessantly about some great new love of his/her life, there’s the choom-choom-choom of personal (!) music systems to contend with.

Despite having so far resisted the urge to carry wire cutters or small nail scissors to further personalise a listening experience - by a little subtle snipping of earphone wires, nothing involving the actual spilling of blood, you understand - there are days when there is clearly a need for Noise Police on public transport.

Sure, there are Transit Police, largely responsible it seems for ensuring the continued existence of railway coffee shops; the ubiquitous Ticket Inspectors that protect the state’s fragile economy, adding to the billions of dollars surplus the government isn’t keen to actually part with; not to mention our fine, though stretched, ‘mainstream’ Police Service.

But who is going to conserve a potential reading environment for those library users attempting to maximise the use of their travel time? Commuting librarians with nail scissors?

Patron needs beyond the library

So your average punter has spent a good hour or so searching the stacks for enough brain fodder to keep them going for a week or so. Where the heck are they going to find the right ambience to do their reading. Sure, there’s always the good old bedroom, late at night - when something of the heft of a 10-foot bargepole is needed to keep the eyelids open. But where does one find such a reading aid, let alone instructions for using it?

Of course, there’s those lucky enough to use a ‘commute’ to work - ideal place to read? Not. At least the Poms have cell phone-free rail carriages - but what about the rest of the semi-civilised world? Even if the moron next to you on the train isn’t jabbering on inanely and incessantly about some great new love of his/her life, there’s the choom-choom-choom of personal (!) music systems to contend with.

Despite having so far resisted the urge to carry wire cutters or small nail scissors to further personalise a listening experience - by a little subtle snipping of earphone wires, nothing involving the actual spilling of blood, you understand - there are days when there is clearly a need for Noise Police on public transport.

Sure, there are Transit Police, largely responsible it seems for ensuring the continued existence of railway coffee shops; the ubiquitous Ticket Inspectors that protect the state’s fragile economy, adding to the billions of dollars surplus the government isn’t keen to actually part with; not to mention our fine, though stretched, ‘mainstream’ Police Service.

But who is going to conserve a potential reading environment for those library users attempting to maximise the use of their travel time? Commuting librarians with nail scissors?

Another New Beginning

For existing Warrior Librarian fans, Greetings once again; for casual readers and those who landed here by mistake, Welcome.

Following the spate of Hack Attacks in the old blog, and the fact that the previous hosting company wouldn't respond to any of the requests for assistance or increased security ... here we are, elsewhere in cyberspace.

And that's the really neat thing about the 'net - its everywhere without being anywhere. Pretty much like a lot of prose that passes itself off as literature. But that's just my opinion - and you're welcome to it.

Over the next few days, a lot of the existing postings will move over from the 'old' blog. Quite a few folk tried to reply to those postings, but the frailties in the 'old' system prevented them from being moderated. So stand by, whilst the training wheels are being attached ...